What’s even more true is that lack of trust and the presence of jealousy is the foundation for an emotionally manipulative and possibly abusive relationship. Jealousy and mistrust go hand in hand, and while it’s cliché to say that trust is the foundation of any good relationship, it’s true. A jealous partner will never trust you completely, and will use that lack of trust as a pathway to tear you down and convince you that somehow their inability trust you is your fault. A jealous partner is an insecure partner who will use their insecurities as a way to excuse manipulative and controlling behavior. Jealousy does not prove that your significant other loves you. I mean, how can I believe you really love me if you don’t ever get jealous?”

I remember a male friend saying to me, “A little jealousy is always good in a relationship. I remember so clearly my friends in high school saying that their boyfriends were so in love with them, and they knew that because they were always jealous of other boys. Looking back, there were some definite patterns of behavior that I didn’t notice crossed the line into abuse. Here are a few: Over the course of 2 years, I went on to endure abuse -emotional (including stalking), digital, physical and sexual-all at the hand of this dreamy boy I thought I loved. Īs a 22-year-old woman, I often look back to seven years ago, when a 15-year-old version of myself met a boy and quickly became trapped in his manipulation. This article is the second part of a two part series.

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